


crash and burn

by astralnoon



Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fights, Heartache, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Past Relationship(s), crying in an empty warehouse? i’ll join you bro, this is just pure angst i’m sorry y’all lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:40:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29711787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralnoon/pseuds/astralnoon
Summary: It was never meant to be public, but one slip-up sends the entire thing crashing down.
Relationships: Aleksandr Vitalyevich Marchant/James Richard Wilson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	crash and burn

Aleks knows that their first mistake had been when they allowed the joking flirting and touching in videos to turn into something more, something beyond platonic. Swift pecks would linger longer, slowly moving from their cheeks to their lips. Soon their words to each other behind the cameras and away from everyone else were becoming dirtier and dirtier, the tension only getting stronger as the days went on. 

The second mistake had been when James decided to keep Aleks back at the warehouse after everyone else had left one day, citing “needing to have a one-on-one meeting” with Aleks, and Aleks let him shove him into the wall of one of the restrooms, an experience that had been entirely new to both men. Both of them had girlfriends at that time, but in Aleks’ case that relationship didn’t last for much longer as the guilt overcame him and he ended up coming clean to the poor girl; barely four months into that relationship and it had to end because he fucked his business partner. James had tried to have both his girlfriend plus Aleks, but she ended up putting two and two together when she realized how much closer James had become to Aleks, finally storming out one day. 

The third mistake was Aleks falling for James and then entering a relationship with him. The nature of the relationship had been okay overall, very loving and full of sex, and if Aleks ignored how they had found their way to one another then he could believe that it was a genuinely good relationship. Even if this was forbidden, something that needed to stay away from the public eye. 

Their final mistake was letting their relationship enter a public view. 

Even if it had been by mistake initially, James forgetting that it was a live stream and not a video recording when he kissed Aleks in front of the cameras, it wasn’t long before every social media had that screenshot plastered on it. While many people were supportive of them, those supportive voices were quickly drowned out by the type of people who dominated their audience: slurs and threats were thrown at both men in comments on videos and even their personal streams, James’ case so bad that it turned him off from streaming entirely. At first, James assumed that all he and Aleks had to do was stop appearing in the same videos and that would be enough to deter the attackers from coming after them but it wasn’t nearly enough. Even when Brett had attempted to speak out for them, claiming that it “had been a joke that was taken too seriously by select groups” it wasn’t about to stop the malicious comments. 

Finally, James had had enough and he left the group. He cited his departure as “creative burnout”, but once again the attacks didn’t end, now being aimed entirely at Aleks. James did do his best to still support Aleks behind the scenes and at home, but the comments had reached a point of it being impossible to tune them out. Aleks very quickly hit his limit too and knowing that his departure would lead to it anyway, the channel was instead shuttered abruptly; while he felt bad seeing it end so sloppily when there had once been lots of plans for it, there was no way to recover. Their group of so-called “fans” had won but now they were pissed to see the sudden end, so blissfully unaware that _they_ were why this happened. 

James and Aleks did attempt to keep their relationship going, knowing that even if those anonymous comments online had killed their creation it couldn’t possibly kill their love for one another…

… how wrong they had both been. 

Even with Cow Chop gone to keep them from being driven apart and both stepping back from YouTube entirely, the peace didn’t last long. A new tension was forming between them, this one not sexual, and fights were becoming more and more frequent. There was a mutual bitterness, both blaming the other for killing what had once been a successful online career. Both had taken up alcohol to cope over everything, so many nights being spent getting blackout drunk and waking up the next morning to clothes being strewn everywhere. Even if there was no recollection of the previous night’s exact activities, from the bruises and hickies he’d be covered in Aleks could figure out just _how rough_ they’d get when drunk and angry. 

Their friends keep a check on them, or at least try to. Brett and Lindsey end up coming to their house in the midst of one of the fights, Brett having to restrain James when he attempts to turn the fight in a physical direction, dragging him out of the room away from Aleks. The arm Lindsey places around him as he openly sobs at the entire mess had been the first form of affection Aleks had received in ages, finally giving in and leaning into her for an embrace that she gives him, murmuring a sympathetic apology into his ear. 

Yet between all of the screaming and drinking, they still slept in the same bed and they’d find their way to each other’s arms during the night. Aleks would always wake up first, savoring the feeling of James being so close to him and for a bit, he’s able to forget the harsh reality of how things are between them. But as soon as James stirs awake and realizes where he’s at, he quickly removes himself from Aleks to move as far from him as he can manage in their bed, sometimes going so far as to leave the room entirely to be away from him. 

Then one morning, Aleks awakens to an empty bed. Initially not questioning it, only when he gets up and notices that James’ side of the bed was _entirely_ barren does he become suspicious. 

When he looks in their -or perhaps he should say _his_ \- closet and sees that James’ clothes are missing, it finally sinks in: he was gone.

Aleks should feel relieved, feel free now that he wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of the relationship anymore, but instead everything comes crashing down for him. The depressive episode he enters following James leaving is one of the worst he’s sure he’s ever had, many days just remaining in bed unless he _has_ to get up. And now he’s the one that steps back from streaming, not wanting anyone to see how successful they were in getting to him or having to discuss what had happened. 

After a few weeks of being surrounded by the ghosts of what had once been a loving relationship, Aleks finally realizes that he can’t remain there anymore. Craving some form of comforting familiarity he decides on relocating back to Denver, signing a lease almost immediately so he can leave LA as soon as possible. The week between that and Aleks’ departure feels like an eternity, but it finally arrives and he decides that it’s best to quietly leave the city without a final goodbye to anyone; not like they’d probably care since they hadn’t bothered to even _try_ checking on him since James left. 

Somehow, Aleks ends up back at the warehouse. 

He hadn’t exactly paid attention as he drove, and now he’s left one place surrounded by the memory of James to end up at another place surrounded by those memories. Like some sort of muscle memory he had parked in his usual spot from when Cow Chop resided there, the only thing missing being James’ car to his left. Brett and the others had just finished clearing it out a couple of weeks ago, only doing so when it had been made plenty obvious that Aleks wanted nothing to do with it and allowed it to sit untouched for _months_ , becoming a time capsule to a once iconic friendship. Initially Aleks wants to turn his car around and leave the parking lot but _something_ keeps pulling him further into the warehouse. That _something_ is what he blindly allows to let him walk inside, the second he gets into the lobby feeling as though he could collapse and scream from how hard those memories hit him. 

But he keeps walking further in. 

The warehouse is so barren now, reminding Aleks of the very first day that he and James had seen it in person; how naïve both of them had been then. If he looks _just_ hard enough toward the back corner, Aleks can still picture the tattered couch with himself and James sat on it, surrounded by piles of Amazon boxes as the camera crew films them giving and opening the various gifts. But he can also picture the various evenings following the end of the work day where he and James would find it in themselves to take each other on it, tuning out the various stains on it to instead focus on the feeling of each other. The poor girls they had been dating during that time, Aleks thinks to himself, so in love with their respective boyfriends but oblivious to their secret relationship with each other; he wishes he had told his girlfriend sooner but James had convinced him that they could fuck on the side and remain in their relationships. Aleks hopes that both of the women are well and hopefully in the loving, faithful relationships that they both deserved after what he and James had put them through. 

Aleks’ phone suddenly dings, looking at it to find a text from Brett: _Hey, sorry I’ve not checked in lately, been busy. I’m coming over right now, bringing some food so hope you’re hungry._ Aleks wants to respond back and tell Brett that he’s going to find an empty house, but he couldn’t bring himself to type out the reply. The depression settling down on him has him feeling so heavy and it’s only when he slowly collapses to the floor that he finally registers his own silent tears. He wants to hate James, hate him for dragging him into a messy affair that cost him his online reputation and one of his best friends, but he _can’t_. A part of him deep down still loves James somehow, yearning to be in his presence and feel his love; not like James had any more love for Aleks, though. 

Aleks wishes that the alcohol cabinet were still there, even if only filled with the horrific malört, so that he could drink himself unconscious. Maybe that’s what was happening to him right now: he was unconscious and stuck in this hellacious nightmare. Maybe James is sitting by his side, patiently awaiting for him to wake up so that he can-

Nope, Aleks definitely felt himself slamming his head into the garage door. All it does is make him cry even more once the pain registers in his body and once again he collapses onto the floor as all of his emotions overwhelm him. Aleks misses seeing more texts from Brett as he lays there, either not hearing his phone or simply not wanting to look:

_Hey, wanna come to the door?_

_Aleks, do you even hear me? Come open the door please_

_Did you fucking MOVE without telling anyone???_

_Please answer me Aleks, I’m actually getting worried now_

Getting fed up with the seemingly endless dings, Aleks throws his phone as hard as he can manage, distantly hearing it hit the concrete floor of the warehouse and wincing after realizing that he probably just broke it; can’t be any more broken than he currently is though. 

All Aleks wants is for James to reveal himself from around the corner, taking him into his arms and telling him that he’s sorry, he’s not going to leave him again. But he knows that that’s merely wishful thinking, James could care less about him anymore from… wherever he went to when he quietly left that night. Honestly, he just wants _someone_ to come check on him, it’s all he had been secretly hoping for in light of James. But as he had always suspected, his “friends” had only cared for James, once James was gone they had no reason to speak with Aleks, not even to acknowledge that he once existed to them. The concrete floor beneath him has gone warm from his own body heat, yet it’s the most comforting thing to him right now, doing his best to imagine that the warmth was instead from another person. 

He had felt alone before, but now he was truly alone. 

Aleks is not sure exactly how long he ends up laying in his own misery, but he finally decides to get up. Walking over to his phone, surprisingly to him it still works but the screen has been shattered from the impact of being thrown so harshly. Only then does he _finally_ see the messages and missed calls from Brett and even other friends, all desperately trying to get in touch with him… but of course none are from James. Aleks knows that he needs to reply to Brett at least, let everyone know that he’s at the very least _alive_ , but once again he’s not able to bring himself to type out the message. The only thing that’s on his mind right now is getting the fuck out of Los Angeles, a city that once held so much promise to him but is now a city full of what could have been. Taking one final look into the warehouse, Aleks leaves it for the last time but knows that he will not miss it at all; the same can be said for this entire city, even. 

Maybe when he gets back to Denver, he’ll call Brett and tell him where he went. He’ll probably be _furious_ at what Aleks has done, leaving so abruptly and scaring everyone like this, but hopefully when Aleks explains to him he’ll at least partially understand why he took this route. 

Or maybe he’ll allow everyone to believe that he’s dead.


End file.
